There are certain things in life you experience that cause you pain.
For example…
A well-known, well liked celebrity passes away, and it stirs up all kinds of emotional angst and introspection…
A friend or business partner stabs you in the back or treats you unkindly and you feel betrayed…
Someone in your immediate family completely disregards something you said was important to you, and instead does exactly the opposite to what you’d asked them to do…
I know, for me, things like this in the past have often caused me to withdraw. To put up a wall around me, so I didn’t have to deal with stuff like this, moving forward.
The problem is, when you put up a wall around you, although you’re much safer for sure – because now you can keep all bad guys out… you’re also keeping out all the good guys, as well.
You suffocate from “lack” of life, which is, for me anyway… worse than the occasional bruise life gives you.
I would imagine the people who have grown up learning good coping skills, are better at handling things like this, than the rest of us who really didn’t have good teachers.
And I know for me, even at age 50 – I’m still trying to get better at processing stuff like this.
Basically, the skill set for handling things like this is similar to handling any kind of adversity – only struggle is perceived and processed and handled very differently by everyone.
For instance, one person may sink into a horrible depression over a death… but this same person may not even give a second thought to something like financial ruin. “I’ll just start again, no big deal.”
Others may feel exactly opposite – financial ruin may, quite literally, destroy them. But they look at death as just another ordinary event in the timeline of life.
I don’t really know the “right” way to handle things like this.
And “handle” is different for everyone, as well.
For some people, like me, “handle” means to digest, expel, and move on as normal to the next thing. No different from eating a handful of grapes.
For other people, “handle” means to completely ignore it, or pretend it never happened.
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And still for others, “handle” means to kick the living shit out of something until all the pain is gone.
I’ve come across no shortage of techniques or ways of dealing with darkness over the years:
– One close friend of mine just expects negative stuff to happen all the time. This way, he’s not thrown off guard when it happens…
– I know, for me… nothing makes me feel better – and I do mean nothing… than going to the gym and having a vigorous workout. I literally feel like a different person when I leave. And handling any emotional fallout is also much easier, moving forward.
– Others will make a gratitude list… or seek counsel from a mentor.
What about you? What’s your technique for persevering in difficult situations?
Let me know by posting on today’s blog.
And have yourself a great weekend,
Now go sell something, Craig Garber
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listening to:
Sunshine Superman – Donovan (1966)