Copywriting tip: what's missing in each of these 3 ads

Look, I’m going to explain something to you today in plain and simple English, so you can get your arms around this, once and for all.

But first, let me ask you a few questions:

How’d you like to buy six dozen bees nests – I’ve got them available for an amazing price?

No?

O.K. then, how about a half-dozen Florida armadillos?  They make great pets and they’re not very particular at all about where you let them roam around, or who’s grassy lawn they destroy.

Still not interested?

Hmmm… then what if I told you I could get you a fantastic deal on a giant box of silk plants.  Now are you interested?

No, of course not.

Then pay very close attention to what I’m about to tell you because it’s going to clear up any confusion you may have about this.

See, virtually no one includes enough detail in their marketing promotions.

And while people who aren’t interested in what you’re selling, could care less about what you have to say, the folks who are interested, want to know absolutely EVERYTHING about what you’re offering.

A bee-keeper, for example, wants to know EVERY detail under the sun.  He wants to know how old the bees are… where they came from… how often they produce honey and how much honey they produce… what kind of honey and how sweet it is… how much honey they’ve manufactured in the last three honey seasons… how manageable the bees are… roughly how many bees are in each nest… whether or not they’re aggressive bees, and if so, how aggressive… how prolific they are and how fast the nest is growing… when you can ship them… how they can get them… whether or not these kind of bees have been sold before, and if so, who bought them… what are other beekeepers saying about the bees you sell… and probably a whole host of other things you and I will never have a clue about, because this isn’t a product we want to buy.

And see, if it was a product you wanted to buy, would you simply be satisfied with some vague generalities like, “Yellow bees for sale.  Ready to produce honey.”?

No way, right?

And this is true, regardless what you’re selling or how much money you’re charging.  The truth is, your buyers want to know absolutely everything about what they’re buying.  And you can’t provide this information in a sentence or two.

On top of this, if you think using a bunch of hypey words with exclamation points is going to make your sale, you’re living in La La Land.

“Eye-Opening Bees Now Available!”  just won’t cut it.

So the issue isn’t really how much you should write.  It’s how much do you need to say, to give your buyers enough information so they can make a decision.

Some people, as I’m sure you know… can go on and on and on and say absolutely nothing.  But others… can give you more insight to life and how it works… in just a few words.

Now go sell something, Craig Garber

P.S.  As you know, in business there are only three ways to make more money: Get more customers… raise your prices… or increase the value of your average transaction size.  Chapter 12 reveals a practical and very easy to apply strategy that dramatically increases the value of your average transaction size… by getting as many as 98.4% of your customers to spend more money with you, every single time they buy

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